My mother was a fabulous woman. She arrived in this country at the tender age of 23, and by the time she went home to be with the Lord, 35 years later, she had touched scores of lives personally, & thousands more through her sparkling 37 year career at the United Nations... But more than just style, she possessed substance... I vividly recall one occasion when she told me, "there's a fine line between sophistication & crass"... I think she was mostly right... What I've found is that there's a not just a "fine line", but rather, a considerable gap between sophistication & crass. There's a difference between style & substance... There's just something about formal education. It's more than just what you learn in a classroom. It's about co-mingling with like-minded people who possess a measure of "actright". And yes, for many individuals, formal education can often times be substituted by life experience; but or most people, education is the most viable path...
Last night, in lieu of a full bodied woman, I sat down with a full-bodied glass of Cabernet, & fired up my precious DVR... On my agenda; the season finale of Basketball Wives L.A., and the Season Premieres of both "Love & Hip Hop", and "Real Housewives of Atlanta"... What I felt was a an overwhelming sensation of cognitive dissonance. On one hand, like many people, I was greatly entertained... The remarkable tomfoolery repeatedly demonstrated by these women provided for nearly 3 hours of bellowing laughter... But on the other hand, I found the portrayal of Black women that was being disseminated to mainstream America, to be somewhat concerning.
I think Bravo (TV Network) really missed an opportunity when casting The Real Housewives of DC... The casts of Orange County, Beverly Hills, New York & New Jersey are all white. However, the cast of Atlanta, is predominantly black, with of course Kim being the exception... I truly feel that the cast of DC could have been predominantly black, or at the very least 50/50. And because of the nature of women in DC, the nation could have been exposed a more sophisticated & educated brand of black women, than that of Atlanta.
Heck, the Bravo casting director would'nt have had to have travel any further than my own condomium complex to find a bevy of accomplished black women... I could literally walk out of my home, not leave my complex, and knock on the doors of two legitimate black female entrepreneurs, two 3rd year med students, a dental student, a Congressional staff attorney, a federal employee who significantly affects national legislative policy (which affects us all), an architect, a teacher, & the former DC Mayoral press secretary, who recently left her prestigious position, to ascend to greater heights. And not one of these women is over 33 years of age... And I don't say that to be braggadocios, as I can tell you that all of these women are far more accomplished than am I... But rather, I say all of that to say that there are a myriad of impressive black women out there. And if I can find such a prodigious brood of women within a stones throw from my home, why is it that when we turn on the television, we are relegated to imagery of well dressed, yet miseducated, misbehaved, "gold digger" types, who many I suspect skipped out on formal education, and instead, latched onto men who had either "made it", or unbeknownst to them, eventually would.
As black people, when we are channel surfing, its almost as if we have some sort of innate component that compels us to automatically stop on a channel, when we see a black person pictured. I would attribute this tendency to the fact that quite frankly, there aren't very many black figures on TV.
And therein lies the issue. You see, it's not that the Real housewives of New York or New Jersey don't behave badly ( as it is well-publicized that the casts of Jersey Shore, Jerseylicious & Real Housewives of New Jersey, give many Italian-Americans fits), however, as white people, there is such a large representation of white faces on television, that the ones who are behaving badly, essentially become, "the micro".. Whereas for blacks, the opposite is true. By no fault of their own, the women in the reality shows we love so much, are serving as the dominant portrayal of black women on television, thus, they represent "the macro".
So while misbehaved white faces on TV constitutes merely "a drop in the ocean"; black women on these reality shows, are more like "a drop in the bucket".
And so this imagery is not only detrimental because it perpetuates stereotypes in the eyes of other races & ethnicities, but it is also dangerous because these are also the women that little black girls (and I suspect some also some grown-ass-women) turn on the television and see (and potentially emulate) each & every night.
And of course some of you will say that this is where parenting comes in. And I wouldn't disagree. However, I think there is a long track record suggesting that even with the most loving & well-intentioned parental units, many times, people are led astray.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of these elitists who think that a formal education is the exclusive means to achieving great success. In fact, if you turn on the television, you will find many instances where the opposite is true... All that I am suggesting is that often times there is a certain etiquette & decorum that I notice is demonstrated in women who did value their education.
I find it nothing short of astonishing, that if you were to ask the woman whom the subjacent leg (equipped a tattoo of a zipper spanning the greater part of her calf & thigh) what two words most accurately describe her, I can tell you that without hesitation, she would inexplicably reply, "classy" & "sassy", without batting an eyelash. And because the definition of sassy is "distinctively smart & stylish", I think it is safe to conclude that this tomfoolery is neither sassy nor classy.
I also find it breathtakingly preposterous that a grown ass black woman (I saw the driver) found it appropriate to all but vandalize her truck with this gaudy, zebra print,
What is most jaw dropping to me, is that these women, in their heart of hearts, truly believe they are fabulous... And I consider it is that same nature of misguidance that would lead these same types of women, who are pictured on television; one moment tooling around town in the the foremost symbol of accomplishment & sophistication, (the Range Rover), to 10 minutes later, being pictured, rolling around on the floor, embattled in fisticuffs, & pulling each others wigs off, in the most crass manner.
And who knows, maybe I am being somewhat harsh. Perhaps these women were just one high school science & technology program, or collegiate-summer-internship-opportunity away from heading in the right direction. But for whatever reason, somewhere along the way, something clearly went horrendously awry... My only hope is that young girls growing up are aspiring to be more like Michelle Obama, than Nene Leakes.
"Diamonds all shining. Looking all fine. Pretty lil' face. You get a lil' high. Young girl struggling. Trying to survive. Mother of the Earth, she made you & I... ... ... There goes a Black Girl Lost" - Nas
